in the tape deck: windows down winter

if you know me you know i love tapes. that’s right. cassette tapes. those palm sized rectangles that slide right into your back pocket, like a love note or a five dollar bill. something about their sound, their edge, brings me back to the time and place i first ever heard music. when i was kid my cousin gave me a beatles mix tape that became my first ever introduction to music. after that it was more compilations including the likes of buddy holly, otis redding and the great aretha franklin. as i got older i started listening to CDs and later on graduated to the ipod. and in the company of a working record player i will gladly spin vinyl. but tapes are my favorite way to hear a good jam and will always hold a truly special place in my heart.

this past weekend i went up to denver and checked out black and read, a dope used book and music store that had one of the BEST tape selections i have ever seen. seriously. i walked away with 12 new tapes to add to my collection including a compilation of early fleetwood mac blues jams. ive only recently become a fleetwood mac fan, mostly through the repeated playing of a rumours tape i bought about a year ago. but this vintage years tape seriously blew my mind. it’s rough, bluesy and just so so good. BUT the best part about this tape is that a friend of the previous owner accidentally taped over about seven seconds of side A, revealing in a muffled voice this perfect statement: ‘im messing with your shit because you KNOW i just really need to hear some fleetwood mac’. there’s something slightly creepy about how this voice interrupts the steady flow of the blues. but boy do i know where she’s coming from…

rugged individuals

auto autopsy

up the mountain

as if living in a rustic cabin on a mountainside wasn’t awesome enough turns out there’s a beautifully weird abandoned log cabin just a ways up the mountain from me. there’s something oddly symmetrical about the strewn about tires and peeled apart car. it’s like long ago someone placed everything, just so, ready for the few visitors who would up trek the mountain to see this tucked away museum. the cabin’s ceiling is too short for even me to walk through standing straight. it is made up of only two small rooms, unconnected, with a large stone fireplace sandwiched between them. it is a seriously strange dwelling, made all the more eccentric by an old sedan outside that appears to have been pulled apart by the hands of a giant.

there are more photos of this magical place to come! and i imagine i will find myself there again soon…

postcards: le dauphine

a very sweet sweetie who knows me too well gave me these four vintage french postcards for chanukah/christmas. i love almost any old postcard or photograph. they always tell a story. but something about these mountainous images are more than just history laden, dust covered artifacts. they are evocative of dreams i have had. places i have gone to in my sleep. i want to find these places in my waking life, ride those rails, climb those mountains as high as they will hold me.

a reminder

postcards: the bay bridge

i’ve been saving this one. when i left the bay in september it was really really hard to leave. then as the weeks passed i was able to let go a bit and embrace the open road and the rural landscapes that welcomed me. now as i am tucked away alongside the rocky mountains i find myself missing the bay more than ever. don’t get me wrong. i am so into my solitary rustic life. and the city sounds like a scary, noisy place compared to my current surroundings. but the bay area is a special, magical urban landscape full of characters that span the spectrum of what makes a person beautiful. i look forward to crossing this sparkling bridge again. i look forward to seeing all the faces that make this place home.

date unknown. found at, well, i dont remember.

back in action

it’s true. i took a break. a vacay. the blog has been sitting on the bottom of the priority list the past few weeks. wrapping up my residency, hiking into the grand canyon and then traveling to colorado to find a spot for the winter have kept me seriously busy.

on top of it all the pages of time turned to 2012. here we are. it’s a new year.  an hour before the clock struck midnight some friends and i decided to ring it in with intentional reflection. together we sat and round after round shared things we’d accomplished, places we’d been, happenings that happened for us in our lives in 2011. at first it felt hard to think of anything worthwhile. ‘all I did was work.’ ‘I barely went anywhere.’ but as we dug deep into the files of our most recent year we were each able to harness evidence that in 2011 we did a lot. in 2011 we lived.

for me this list became evidence that in 2011 i didn’t stop. i worked hard, professionally, creatively, and emotionally. i completed a third season working for Frameline. i completed two short film projects. i completed graduate school. and i began some long needed self work in therapy.

after reviewing this exhaustive list (which also included many trips with friends, walks in nature and delicious home cooked meals) i decided that what i need now, what i deserve more than anything, is to slow down. to make time for myself. to breathe without pressure. without expectation.

after five days of intensive hiking in the grand canyon with a dear, close friend i found myself yearning for a continuation of what i had begun in residency: quiet, undisturbed creative time. when i arrived in Colorado the universe aligned perfectly for me. a good friend of mine owns a cozy, rustic cabin nestled 30 minutes out of town on the southern slope of mount Blanca. initially i hesitated. i like to think of myself as a rough ‘n tumble mountain girl, but exactly how rustic is rustic? any fears i had about handling the off the grid existence were shattered as i curled up on the couch of this little slice of heaven. sandwiched between wide, expansive views of the san luis valley and an up close view of the valley’s highest peak i finally felt sure about something. this is where i am meant to be right now.

so for at least a couple of months i will be hunkering down here in the slv, working on my screenplay and making time and space to think about what i want for the coming months of 2012. i will continue to update the blog, but because i don’t have internet on the mountainside i will be updating less frequently than i’d like. worry not, though! i will be writing up a storm in the cabin and then updating a hefty load when i am in town.

here’s to 2012!

patience, please.

the blog is not dead. just on a break as i figure things out and settle down. new posts coming soon. PROMISE!